welcome baby cece

​Meet Cecilia Josephine! 

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She joined us February 16th and I am forever changed. Five months in, I'm still processing her birth, which did not go the way I had hoped, and learning who I am now that I am also her mom. In spite of an unexpected c-section, the physical recovery has been relatively easy (thanks to 20ish years of yoga and Juliana, a great pelvic floor PT) but I needed more time for emotional processing. I thought I'd be back to a regular teaching schedule but I'm still sorting out my capacity; honoring what is true is the biggest part of my practice right now. This is the yogic practice of satya. 
My time on my mat is limited but we're doing lots of yoga. We pay attention. I love watching her; she loves watching the bumblebees dipping in and out of the colors blooming in our garden or studying the movements of my lips, her fingers clumsily tracing the lines around my mouth and eyes. She's enamored with our elderly cat Stella; we're all surprised at Stella's patience with Cece's outbursts of affection. I don't know how much mental chatter or citta vrttis babies have- but I do know hers are often suspended in awe of the world around her; yoga is her natural state.

What an immense gift to see the world fresh through her eyes. I'm reminded that yoga is not a practice of transforming into something new but of stripping back a lifetime of conditioning to reveal ourselves. Our way before we adapted to survive, to receive love, and to avoid harm in this world. Cece greats all with her heart wide open, love just streaming from her eyes and her smile. She doesn't know another way. What a world we could live in if we could all remember where we started.

To return to ourselves- and to a state of love- requires a felt sense of safety so our nervous system can stand down. So we can resist reactions drenched in the emotions of past experiences (samskaras, in yoga) and choose a new response. The system of yoga offers some powerful tools.  Asana: physical poses to ground the body and reveal where and how we hold tension. Pranayama: breath work to break up patterns and help us downshift. And the bulk of the work: refining (remembering!) how to turn off the noise and pay attention, to stay present to what's true. 
We already have these skills within us. I know this in my bones as I listen to my daughter hum and sing herself to sleep, the vibrations soothing her little system. As she wriggles to find the comfort of my body when she wakes at night. How could you change the course of your day if you could interrupt stress by taking a few minutes to tune in to your senses? To ground yourself? To pay attention? How could you change your relationship to the world? The small ways we can interrupt our own patterns have the potential to significantly alter our collective future, I truly believe this. It's a reminder I need as my heart breaks with the state of the world.

Inspired by Cece's humming and the bees I have a few new classes up on YouTube. I'm in the planning stages for an in-person fundraising class for Heal Palestine in early September. And I'll continue to find time to share some guided practice with you all! <3 

Hope you're finding pockets of ease this summer.

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